Dear rice, coffee, and eyeliner,

The three of you made for a helluva morning. You tricked me while my brain wasn’t ready for you! Here’s how it went down:
1) While making lunch for daughterofmine I used a serving spoon to get rice from big container to little kid lunch container.
2) I put that spoon down upon hearing the glorious beep of my coffee maker telling me it was ready.
3) I got out another spoon and deposited sugar into bottom of coffee mug
4) Filled coffee mug and added milk
5) Walked back over to spoons, stirred coffee, placed lid on travel mug.
6) Continued morning routine while thinking “hmmm coffee must be getting too old”.
7) Took daoughterofmine to school and continued to drink coffee
8 ) Waited at stop light and took a giant swig of coffee
9) Realized there were thick grains in my mouth, then hacked, gagged, and opened car door to spit them out. THEN realized it was rice…with soy sauce. UGH! Wrong spoon!
10) Sighed and cursed – Then got a new cup of coffee and guzzled it down. Maybe a little too fast.
11) Attempted to apply liquid eyeliner while dealing with a serious case of coffee jitters.
12) Looked at the aftermath of eyeliner in the mirror. It’s everywhere. One eye is different than the other and my attemt to fix it with spit and my finger made it look like I just got drunk,watched the notebook wearing non-waterproof mascara, cryed my eyes out, then called it a style.
13) Left house looking like crack-head. Who cares, just going to Wal-Mart anyway. I can’t be any worse than the rest of the patrons. Besides, Priscilla Presley made it work once…

So, between the three of you, Rice, Coffee, and Eyeliner; I now went from “I WILL NOT look like crap today” to “ah screw it, crackheads can be pretty in an artsy sort of way too”.

Gee, thanks for that,
Kelly

Dear Bubble Gum,

Today, I am very thankful for you. I am not smoking and you are helping.  Also, I finally got through another round of changes from my editor, which leaves me sitting here waiting for final approval of my astonomically large project. So, I sit and chew. I blog and look busy. I make a to do list. But mostly, I sit staring at my screen and chewing.  You taste good. Thanks.

Kelly

Nom Nom Nom

Dear anyone who reads my first post (or any of the ones that follow),

So – the idea that I have had for these blogs…the ones that keep me up at night because I am so excited to write them…have consistently been funny. However, the one that motivated me to come here and actually START a blog, wasn’t so funny. I don’t think I’ll write that one tonight. Basically – I am a little tipsy. I had some Boordy’s vineyard Shiraz.  It is not too bad, but I still wish I would have shelled out the 25 bucks for the Landmark reserve. I think Ill go to the vineyard for my birthday. Anyway – that isn’t the point of this blog.  Here’s what is:  I always see people in passing that inspire me.  I would like to write them letters on here. I also have a strange family and life, and I have a lot of thoughts about it; however, I don’t always have the guts to voice my true opinion about every matter. SO – I figured, I can do that here. No judgment… no feelings hurt 🙂

A little about me is that I am a single mom. I work as a contractor for the Department of Defense.  My job is basically to write research papers. I deal with editors and stupid co-workers. I have a lame cubicle. I am about as “American woman” as you can get, without the chic outfit.  I love to write, so I love my job – but I often get stuffed into a box of style that I hate. This blog should be a nice departure from that.

My Daughter : She’s hilarious. She’s five. She’s spunky. She’s smart. She’s athletic. She’s beautiful. She is literally all I have in life and the only reason I ever do anything good. I know this sounds incredibly warped, but if something ever happened to her- I would definitely kill myself within a few minutes. I AM a Christan (and TRY to be a good one… and fail often…I’m sure you’ll see that if I actually keep up with this)… but I would take hell for eternity before I took life on earth without her. Maybe I can get through life without completely screwing her up. I doubt it.

How sad is that? That is basically all there is to know about me… I write reports, my daughter is awesome.  I suppose I am expecting the rest to come out within the blog. Anyway – I hope this blog does SOMETHING for you. I will surely love writing it.I am going to back log some stuff I have written in a regular journal (yeah – like a pen and paper) first.

Lastly though – all material seen here IS copyrighted. I do intend to publish a book one of these days. Although the ones in the works are mostly fiction, all fiction draws it’s inspiration from reality on some level. This will be my honest reality, and I will probably even include my book ideas at some point; mainly because I don’t anticipate having any avid readers. Anyway- DON’T USE MY SHYT, I’LL SUE YOUR ASS! Sorry Lord for my bad, bad words.

LOVE YOU!

dearlifeofminewriter (Kelly)

Boordy’s website is : http://www.boordy.com/

P.s. All those tags are stuff I’ll probably end up writing about. I think.