Dear Acupuncture,

22 Nov

I’ve always considered you to be just another weird thing that *Asians do… but today I learned that you actually serve some purpose.

For instance, there is a sign I drive by every single day that says “Acupuncture and Grooming” . I’ve been making a mental note every day for the last 4 months or so to google that and find out what the hell it means. Call me crazy, but I feel like acupuncture and grooming should be separate businesses. You wouldn’t see ” nail salon and deli” , or  “Flowers and Proctology”.

Anyway – I finally googled today and your services are for dogs.

Are you kidding me? You can make a business out of the half-wits that think animals need stuff like this? OCCUPY THAT!

Really though, you should be ashamed of yourself for taking advantage of challenged people.

BUT it did get me thinking and I also came across another kind of acupuncture.

FERTILITY acupuncture.



So wait …

You’re telling me that in order to get pregnant… I have to get poked?!?!

In that case, I’ve totally been over thinking pregnancy. I can now navigate this world with a different sense of understanding.

Sounds easy enough right? The only problem is that I would have to get poked by this guy, who runs a local fertility poking place:

You can't poke me!!!

And I won’t do it.

Therefore acupuncture, I shall forever leave you to the *Asians, weird pet parents, and other masochists.



*I’m not actually racist, it’s supposed to make white people laugh. So if you are offended, just click off the page.


2 Responses to “Dear Acupuncture,”

  1. TheIdiotSpeaketh November 23, 2011 at 12:36 am #

    I’ll never laugh at the Pizza/Bait sign I drive by every day…. You got me beat! 🙂

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