Dear Poo Sample People,

24 Jun

First off, I chose not to divulge how we met.  However, I would like to know how it is that you became a poo sample person? It’s a very strange profession to be a poo person. You take it so seriously too. You give out little chopsticks and baggies. You give instructions on the best methodology for poo sampling. Example:  poop on paper plate, then take your sample from there. The thought of this has completely ruined swedish meatballs for me. They now look like poo on a plate and I can’t eat them. I blame you for that, poo sample person. I used to love swedish meatballs.

Also, where is it that one should store a sample while they wait  to produce the next sample? I cannot, for the life of me, think of a good place to store poo.  I am very glad that in my experience, the poo sample storage location was kept secret.

I think you are happy people. Do you say “thank you” when someone hands you a bag of poo? Do you tell new acquaintances you are a poo sample person? Is there a poo sample certificate you can get in community college? Is it brown?

I’m sorry, I’m just curious.


P.S.  Poo is such a funny word. So is fart.  I’m so mature it hurts.


9 Responses to “Dear Poo Sample People,”

  1. dddamaris June 24, 2011 at 5:00 pm #

    Ohhh the brilliance… I appreciate this blog.. so much! Haha!

    • dearlifeofmine June 24, 2011 at 8:12 pm #

      Yes, Im brilliant when it comes to poo *sigh. Glad I could get a laugh outta ya!

  2. TheIdiotSpeaketh June 24, 2011 at 5:57 pm #

    “Shart” is another great word! 🙂 I just sharted while writing this!….

    • dearlifeofmine June 24, 2011 at 8:11 pm #

      I’m so glad you used it in a sentence so I would know what it meant! hehehe. really though, shart makes me laugh too. im so juvenille sometimes. lol

  3. Mytwoscentz June 24, 2011 at 9:03 pm #

    I told you…I hid my poo packets in your pillow case.

    • dearlifeofmine June 24, 2011 at 11:01 pm #

      Haha! baby, I worked so hard for people not to know it was you so that you wouldnt be embarassed. lol. I love you.

  4. apieceofthepiehole June 24, 2011 at 9:04 pm #

    Oh the hubs will love this post! You have NO idea how much he is going to love this post! It was not my Peter Krause’s finest day to say the least! Us women handle this kind of stuff so much better 🙂

    • dearlifeofmine June 24, 2011 at 11:03 pm #

      hehe. I was trying to be supportive, but the entire situation bred hilarity for me. lol hope you both get giggles out of it!


  1. News and Bologna: The Title Post « News and Bologna - August 24, 2011

    […] brace your selves for I am about to attempt something serious that does not include entries about poop or random gripes about my editors, exes, or ridiculous co-workers. Since I’ve been so […]

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