Dear rice, coffee, and eyeliner,

16 Feb

The three of you made for a helluva morning. You tricked me while my brain wasn’t ready for you! Here’s how it went down:
1) While making lunch for daughterofmine I used a serving spoon to get rice from big container to little kid lunch container.
2) I put that spoon down upon hearing the glorious beep of my coffee maker telling me it was ready.
3) I got out another spoon and deposited sugar into bottom of coffee mug
4) Filled coffee mug and added milk
5) Walked back over to spoons, stirred coffee, placed lid on travel mug.
6) Continued morning routine while thinking “hmmm coffee must be getting too old”.
7) Took daoughterofmine to school and continued to drink coffee
8 ) Waited at stop light and took a giant swig of coffee
9) Realized there were thick grains in my mouth, then hacked, gagged, and opened car door to spit them out. THEN realized it was rice…with soy sauce. UGH! Wrong spoon!
10) Sighed and cursed – Then got a new cup of coffee and guzzled it down. Maybe a little too fast.
11) Attempted to apply liquid eyeliner while dealing with a serious case of coffee jitters.
12) Looked at the aftermath of eyeliner in the mirror. It’s everywhere. One eye is different than the other and my attemt to fix it with spit and my finger made it look like I just got drunk,watched the notebook wearing non-waterproof mascara, cryed my eyes out, then called it a style.
13) Left house looking like crack-head. Who cares, just going to Wal-Mart anyway. I can’t be any worse than the rest of the patrons. Besides, Priscilla Presley made it work once…

So, between the three of you, Rice, Coffee, and Eyeliner; I now went from “I WILL NOT look like crap today” to “ah screw it, crackheads can be pretty in an artsy sort of way too”.

Gee, thanks for that,


12 Responses to “Dear rice, coffee, and eyeliner,”

  1. livelaughloveliquor February 16, 2011 at 5:16 pm #

    hee hee very funny. i cant tell you how many days in a row Ive looked like crap and left the house – too many to count. damned morning preschool is just about killing me!

    I enjoyed reading this, thanks for the chuckle.

    • dearlifeofmine February 17, 2011 at 1:07 am #

      Anytime darlin’ πŸ™‚ I’m gonna have to go read you now πŸ™‚

  2. TheIdiotSpeaketh February 16, 2011 at 9:50 pm #

    Kelly Kelly Kelly……you were right about one thing….. I doubt you even warranted a stray glance in Wal-Mart! πŸ™‚ Funny post! Have a great day! πŸ™‚

  3. thoughtsappear February 17, 2011 at 7:17 pm #

    You use liquid eyeliner? You’re brave. I always screw up with that stuff.

  4. apieceofthepiehole February 19, 2011 at 6:04 am #

    I am with thoughts appear and the idiot on both comments. Great post had be howling!

  5. thelifeofjamie February 20, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

    I can only imagine how bad that coffee tasted!

    You actually would fit in perfectly one town over from me…Hey Pie Hole you know- S.V???

  6. Kate March 1, 2011 at 10:19 am #

    Well the three really gave you a good topic to post on ! lol! Well as far as being creative with fashion is concerned I belief fashion is very hyped these days so far as you looking stunning never give a thought to fashion!
    Your Fashion Mantra
    Know your fashion mantra and the tips to work on.

  7. Paige Morgan March 9, 2011 at 11:34 pm #

    Love this! My rule is no liquid eye liner before 10:00 am.

    • dearlifeofmine March 10, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

      haha. I just love how smooth and clean it looks! plus Im on a “stop looking like hell everyday” kick. It didnt work that day. haha

  8. agringa May 14, 2011 at 3:50 pm #

    I’ve put salt instead of sugar in the coffee before. In fact, I’ve done it surprisingly often. Well, they’re both white and powdery (and live in the same style jars) and it takes my brain soooo long to wake up in the mornings.

    • dearlifeofmine June 22, 2011 at 11:19 am #

      myyyy brainnnnnnnnnnnnnnn is sooooo slooooowwww in the morning. And as for the salt, I hate to admit, I’ve also done that one. yuck. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment!

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