Dear Man I am Speaking With Too Often,

17 Dec

I’m thinking I’m in trouble. I’m thinking this is going to hurt. Bad. I’m thinking I should run.

I’ll cry about what might have been until I’m tired. Then I will move on and never wonder again.

I’m scared you are lying.  I’m scared you will break my routine. I’m scared it’s too soon.  I’m scared to break my promise to myself that I wouldn’t date until my daughter is grown.  I’m scared I will love your daughters and mine will love you, then we will lose interest and break all five hearts.

I’m thinking this is real. I can’t stop talking to you. I want more of every conversation.  I am so many things that appall me:  blissful, giddy, unfocused.  I am 15 and you can convince me of anything. I am open and you can do what you will.  It feels good, but I know how this goes. It goes away. You trap me. We fight. We hang on. We finally let go.  Please.  I don’t want to do this.




5 Responses to “Dear Man I am Speaking With Too Often,”

  1. TheIdiotSpeaketh December 17, 2010 at 2:42 am #

    Sorry Kelly. Hopefully your heart will tell you which road to go down with this man. Just follow your heart.

    • dearlifeofmine December 17, 2010 at 2:10 pm #

      Isn’t running really good for the heart? 😉

  2. apieceofthepiehole December 17, 2010 at 6:24 am #

    I love these letters you do. Again, I totally get you and what you are going through… been there bought the T-shirt. Hang in there! 🙂

    • dearlifeofmine December 17, 2010 at 2:09 pm #

      Haha. Thank you 🙂 I’m so glad you like my letters! And my T-shirt from this particular trip is old and ratty. *sigh* we shall see.

  3. dearlifeofmine November 20, 2011 at 12:17 am #

    *Update to this post….
    I married this guy 🙂

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